Kanshoku no Hakuri
by Sacrificial Tao
Summary: [Feeling of Detachment] Eric's devotion for Alan drove him to murder, in the end, but where and how did it begin? Could things have played out differently? Eric/Alan lemons in later chapters.


**感触の薄利**

Chapter 1 –

Alan did not feel particularly enthusiastic when he woke up that morning, the previous evening had been extremely stressful, he had struggled to complete his paperwork and although he had worked several hours past leaving time, he hadn't finished it. The strain of working to meet William's strict deadlines had brought on an attack of the Thorns of Death as he walked home. He had fallen to the knees in the street, with no one in sight to offer support. It was those rare occasions that he wished he lived with Eric, instead of Ronald. The additional anxiety and physical exertion of continuing home while he was still dizzy with pain had triggered an additional bout. Alan grimaced as he stared into the mirror. Once he had eventually reached his shared accommodation, Ronald was there to take him straight to bed. Of that, he was extremely thankful. It was relatively unheard of for him to have two attacks in one day. Both episodes had left him drained. Despite the soreness of his muscles and the fatigue that racked his very bones, Alan tried his very hardest to look his very best before heading to work with Ronald.

"Are you sure you should be going in today?" Ronald asked concernedly, peering over Alan's shoulder. Honestly, Alan didn't know if he had the energy to get through the day, but he loathed missing work for anything.

"I think I'll be okay," Alan reported, his voice hoarse from the previous evening. The dual attack had ultimately given him a few additional problems, a very fast and irregular heartbeat being one, and the other being a severe spell of sickness. His hands still held a detectable tremor. "We should get going," he added distractedly as he stared into his own eyes. His usually bright eyes were bloodshot from exhaustion, and he had dark circles. Ronald seemed to accept Alan's judgement, and moved to comb his own hair. Alan was very appreciative that for the most part Ronald trusted Alan's own perception of his health.

They were out of the apartment within ten minutes, walking casually down the route they had taken together many times. A comfortable companionship encompassed the two of them -they had been friends for many years after all.

"Annual reviews today," Ronald reminded him abruptly. "Are you worried?"

Alan thought very carefully about his answer before replying.

"I am a little bit, I've been a bit of a liability on collections these days," he said, glancing up at Ronald.

"It's understandable though, I'm sure the Boss will take everything into consideration," Ronald exclaimed confidently. The two fell back into a calm silence, occasionally greeting other shinigami as they neared the entrance to the office.

* * *

Obviously, they had to make a slight detour to the secretarial department, so that Ronald could visit his latest in a long line of sweethearts. Alan wondered idly if all of his friend's relations had been female, he didn't particularly feel like asking however. It made no real difference if one or two weren't women, and it certainly wasn't much of Alan's concern. Once he was safely behind his desk, he sighed in relief at being off his feet. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have been bothered at all by the deviation, but the previous day was still fresh in his memory.

He worked solidly for an hour, although it was a slightly slower pace than usual, until finally it was his turn to be reviewed. The first thing that caught his attention was the broad, masculine features of his supervisor, Eric. The standard, lopsided roguish grin curled Slingby's lips.

"Have you been doing okay, Alan?" Eric asked as the subordinate took his seat. For the second time that day, Alan had to consider his answer carefully. It took him a little longer it should have for him to reply, evidently, as both William and Eric's features morphed into twin looks of concern.

"I've been okay, I guess," he informed them carefully, "although I suffered two incidents yesterday."

Both of his superiors glanced at each other, as if they both knew that Alan suffered relatively infrequent bouts of illness. William began the review, and Alan was surprised that most of the feedback was positive, and they heavily discussed the nature of his field work, and both superiors concluded that it might be best for him to team up with one of the other shinigami.

Eric had volunteered himself, but after a long pause, William decided that Ronald was a better choice of companion whilst on collection duties, and informed Alan that he would endeavour to ensure that all of his and Ronald's collection rotas would be in perfect alignment. In addition to the support in the field, the Boss declared that he would allow an extra day for Alan to complete paperwork in future, so that he was less likely to exacerbate the Thorns of Death. It was quite unlike William to make exceptions in that manner, and Alan couldn't help but feel extremely gratuitous.

The meeting went on for much longer than Alan had expected, and he found himself getting more and more weary as the minutes ticked on. The enervation of the previous day was catching up on him faster than he would've liked. Although it was not ideal, he had already acknowledged that he would likely suffer again that day, and he had hoped to be somewhere private when that episode occurred, so that he could avoid the embarrassment of having numerous co-workers rushing to his aid.

All too soon he felt his heartbeat fluctuating, his breath was knocked from his lungs and a wave of vertigo crashed over him like a tsunami. He clasped at his chest, desperately trying to force air into his lungs. At the edges of his faltering vision he saw a blur of long black legs as Eric vaulted the table between them. Faintly, he could hear the man talking, before he lost consciousness.

* * *

**A/N**

yeah so I wrote this in about two hours, but I think the wording of it is so much better than Taion, if you've read that one.


End file.
